The Great 'Man'hunt

Since I am 25 and single, the most frequent question I get from pretty much everyone who emails me is "Have you met any hot men yet?"

My friends (and family) may think crossing the ocean and living in a new country suddenly means there will be more eligible bachelors to choose from. They obviously haven't been to Madrid, aptly labeled "The Philly of Europe" by my friend Tim. Don't get me wrong, part of what makes Madrid Madrid is its many quirks : )

There are some good looking Spanish men - Enrique Iglesias, who I was in love with for much of high school (with or without the mole), Javier Bardem, short, but good looking. If you can think of any more, let me know.

If there were such a thing as 'Rachael Repellent,' cigarettes would do the trick. If you've been to Spain, you know that probably 85% of the Spanish population smokes. Besides being a non-smoker, any man I date must be athletic in some way, shape, or form. Running at Retiro is the only time I see prospects - other than that, I watch futbol for my weekly dose of athleticism.

Finally, in Madrid, it is always a good idea to do the 'thigh test' when checking out a man. For example, when I see a good looking guy in the Metro, I immediately check out his thighs. The size of his thighs tells me two things - a) is he athletic and b) are his thighs bigger than mine. Most eligible contestants have smaller thighs than I do and are immediately eliminated from the realm of possibility. Top skinny thighs off with Euro faux hawks laden with gel, hairiness in general and European pastiness, and there you have the average Spanish male in my age range (23-30).

Of course, all of these are personal observations and given that I've had a crush on Justin Timberlake since I was 12, I'm probably not the best person to ask about the male Spanish population. But for those who have written me wondering if I've found a Spanish 'lover' yet, I've come to the conclusion that he probably isn't in Madrid. When it comes down to it, I really don't want to meet a man in Spain or even Europe for that matter, because I don't want to live in Madrid forever, just until July : ) Next place I'm going to live is San Francisco...with cats, in an attic.

***And for those of you who think I am crazy (i.e. Maureen and Genia), this message has been approved by my roommate, Farren (who is on a manhunt of her own)!